Roi d'Étre et de Néant

"Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'automne
Blessent mon coeur
D'une langueur
Monotone.

Tout suffocant
Et blême, quand
Sonne l'heure,
Je me souviens
Des jours anciens
Et je pleure,

Et je m'en vais
Au vent mauvais
Qui m'emporte
Deçà, delà
Pareil à la
Feuille morte."

I realized that this is the same poet that had relations with my favorite French poet thus far, Authur Rimbaud(ri bo), the I is nasal but I can't make the symbol...so yeah. Anyway, I love Rimbaud, he's amazing. This is one of the poems I have to memorize and recite Tuesday.

I'm so very tired. I can't just sleep it off either. I'm restless--I often get like this and I can't stand it. I want to do extra EVERYTHING but at the same time I have absolutely no motivation. I should fast I think, maybe that will get me out of this funk. Next week will be busy: two tests, poem recitations, meet with advisors, get busy with honors contract(!!!!!), submit information for NSE. phew...busy busy.

I need to pay more attention to my responses for lit class. I get so embarassed when I make stupid mistakes like saying "collection" instead of "recueil"-WE WENT OVER THIS IN THE CLASS BEFORE, saying la ligne instead of vers--WE WENT OVER THIS THE CLASS BEFORE DANG IT!! I bet my teacher thinks I'm such an idiot or a slacker. I feel like one. It amazes me how much I beat myself up about the mistakes, yet I keep doing it...I've made myself a schedule though, so I can get accelerate my skills. I'm going to actually use the grammer and verb and vocabulary books I bought over the summer.

My schedule now fully decided upon. My honors contract is signed. I'm really happy with my classes.

Beginning figure drawing was a bust yesterday simply because we did gesture drawing all day. I love gesture drawing, but not 5 second drawing. I'm just no good at it. The sustained ones were interesting though, i had fun with those. I think the class will be more interesting as time progresses. I like my Honors Human Development class too, it's really interesting and best of all-- NO TESTS!! It's just research, analysis, discussion. I love that. It'll be really fun.

Now, my two favorite classes: Adv. French Phonetics and Adv. French literature. They are great. My teachers are so helpful. I'm really excited about the Honors contract that I'll be doing, I have to decide what kind of work I'd like to do. My professor seemed really happy to help me and likes that I want to do something with Céline's novel "Journey to the end of the Night." I was thinking of a research paper, but what topic? His style or should I do something about the novelist and his affiliation with the Vichy Regime during WWII. I'm so interested in this time period for France and in the different views that came up during that time of German occupation. I feel nervous about discussing this with my professor, I'm afraid he might be one of the people who completely resents people's bashing of Céline and disregard of his amazing work. I'll probably go to the library to get some books. I need to start reading the six or seven books I bought over the summer. I really need to get more information about him and his book(which I have and need to read), before I go and talk to him about what I would like to do.

As far as LHA, lots of work coming up. We had a four hour meeting Tuesday and got the budget and programs figured out. Our first General Assembly is Tuesday.

I got a job at the art gallery and just realized I left my Social Security card in my old wallet at home. I can't believe I didn't pack it. Plus, I had to turn in my birth certificate with my passport application. Oh man...